Journal Entry: The Gaslight Glow
It happened again — that subtle twisting of truth that leaves me dizzy. The way she takes my calm and calls it cold, my honesty and calls it attack, my boundaries and brands them betrayal. One conversation turns into a courtroom, and somehow I’m always the one on trial.
For years, I couldn’t name it. I thought maybe I was too sensitive, too reactive, too emotional. I’d walk away questioning my own memory, rehearsing every word in my head to make sure I wasn’t the problem. That’s the sick part of gaslighting — it makes you rewrite your own history just to keep the peace.
But this time, something inside me caught it. A flicker in her tone, a shift in the air — that faint glow of manipulation that I used to mistake for love. And just like that, I woke up. It felt like snapping out of a trance I didn’t know I’d been under. I could see how every conversation was crafted to confuse, every guilt trip disguised as “care,” every emotional bait dressed up as “concern.”
I realized she wasn’t seeking understanding — she was seeking control. And I’ve been giving her the power by trying to make her get it. But you can’t reason with someone who benefits from your confusion. You can only reclaim yourself from it.
So I sat there, still, breathing through the ache, reminding myself of what’s true:
I am not crazy.
I am not cruel.
I am not selfish.
I am simply tired of being manipulated.
Clarity feels like both a burn and a balm. It hurts to see the truth, but it heals something deep when you finally stop pretending not to. Spirit’s whisper came through quiet but firm:
Clarity is the medicine. The moment you see the pattern, you are already freer than you were yesterday.
And I felt that freedom settle in my chest — small but steady. The kind that doesn’t ask for permission. The kind that says, You can stop explaining now.
You’ve seen the light.
You’re not crazy — you’re just done.
✨ Reflective Questions
When was the last time you doubted your truth to keep someone else comfortable?
How can you anchor yourself when someone tries to rewrite your reality?
What does “clarity” feel like in your body — and how can you honor that feeling more often?
